1 post from October 2009

NEVER imagined myself saying this, but...I'm in Detox!
Not court ordered or anything, purely self motivated...just a temporary thing for now, but maybe permanent. I have something coming up that's kinda big for me, and could make A LOT of things better in my life, and bring in an obscene amount of money at an hourly rate.

...just gotta pass the drug test...

I'm a fairly scrawny person, with low body fat % (below normal), so there isn't much fat cells (even natural ones blah blah blah fuck off) for certain things to hide in. Also, due to my low weight and fat, it doesn't take as much of __(insert drug here)__ to fuck me up...so it dissipates faster within my system. I'll pretty much do whatever you put in front of me, minus heroin. I bought a home kit to test myself, and it came out negative on everything, but very weak negative...there's not much I can really do between now and then, aside from stay clean. Day 4 and it's already one of the harder things I've had to do.

Erin and I broke up a while back, and it's been...rough. I'm confident that I'm over her, if not, I'm 'prolly 80% over her...I get really panicked if I see her drive by me and have to pull over and puke or catch my breath, or when she calls me for some reason or another I fumble my words and can't form a logical sentence....but it's just what she does to me now. It's been a week to week fight to get my personal things back, when really the only thing I NEED to have back is a blanket she has of mine that my Grandmother knitted before she passed away...it means a lot to me.

I've met this girl right at the end of Erin and I (I knew it was coming somehow), she's wicked fucking nice. Cute too. Just....doesn't seem like it'll work, but I think we both wanna try it out. She comes into my work like 3 times a week, it makes the day a bit brighter. If anything, I'd LOVE to keep her as a friend, if shit doesn't work out (assuming we give it a try). It's not a rebound, before you think that. I already had my rebounds, haha!

Any ways, it's been a while....like a long fucking while. I don't think I even have any followers anymore, not that it really matters to me, this is mostly just a place I come to verbally vomit and have emotional diarrhea (what an ugly looking word).

Till next time,
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